Sometimes the headline says all you need to know: Corpse Wheeled To Store To Cash Check
Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check
So my question is this, if they hadn’t been caught by the police, would the bank have released the funds?
A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice – her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.
The wife asked the man, “Do you live here?”
“No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!” he answered.
The husband asked, “Are you a genie?”
“Oh, why, yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself,” the man replied.
The husband and wife agreed on two wishes – one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.
The genie nodded his head and said, “Done!”
The genie now said, “For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire.”
The husband and wife agreed.
After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, “How long have you been married?”
To which she responded, “Three years.”
The genie then asked, “How old is your husband?”
To which she replied, “31 years old.”
The genie then asked, “And how long has he believed in this genie crap?”
If you’re following the Clusterf*ck to the White House, you’ll not want to miss Fred Thompson’s latest campaign promise, courtesy of the The Onion “If Elected, I Will Have The Hottest First Lady In U.S. History”
But I know that in the Thompson household, when I ask the question, “Who’s your daddy?” there is always one person I can rely on to scream out my name. This is my guarantee to you, the voters.
Of course, if you’re voting based on the first lady, you might want to look into Kucinich… Or heck, who could go wrong with First Lady Bill Clinton?
