I am the monkey

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works…

yay pepto bismol

So apparently stomach flu is contagious over IM, I just finished getting over one of the less pleasant episodes of stomach flu that I’ve ever experienced, and now a good friend down in Colorado’s children are sick.  Sorry ’bout that Randy, remind me I owe y’all a round of fries from Red Robins next time we’re out in Texas, k?

Pepto Bismol chewable tablets worked well, although I did notice something interesting while reading the ingredients for this “heartburn • indigestion • upset stomach • nausea • diarrhea” medication. One of the non-medical ingredients is a laxative. Weird.

All well, back to my normal self, even had a couple rounds of wonton soup.  My precious!  And extra special thanks to Mah Lori for taking such good care of me!

Hot Enough For Ya?

I just wanted to share the current weather in Calgary today…

It’s currently -36C (which for the ‘merican is -32.8F), with a chance of “even colder”.  We’ve got wind speeds of up to 22KM/h (a little over 13 miles/hour), which means the wind chill is approximately -47C (or the more impressive -53F).

For those who don’t know, wind chill is designed to tell you how cold it “feels”, and is useful to calculate how long until exposed flesh freezes.

While -47C isn’t a record, the theory says I’ve only got six degrees of separation from inviting Al Gore down here to enjoy some global warming first hand.  We can pitch a tent, he can sleep outside.

According to the wind chill calculation tables, at -47C, exposed flesh is already frozen, and psychiatric help should be sought immediately by anyone even considering going outside.